Potty/Toilet Training
This is a new skill for your child to learn, like riding a bike or dressing themselves; they need to practice. It is a gradual journey that takes time and needs to be viewed as a process over a longer period of time, not something that can happen in a few days.
Children are ready at very different ages. It is not a race. Try not to compare to other children the same age. Being potty trained ‘early’ doesn’t indicate better parenting or greater intelligence.
We recommend initiating this process at home first and once you have committed to making your child’s transition into pants, update nursery with your home routine so that we can continue encouraging and supporting their efforts at nursery. It needs to be a joint, consistent effort at home and nursery for it to be a success.
Preparation and practice
When children can sit up, you could start to introduce a potty during nappy changing times, but it is not essential from this age. By getting children to sit on it from as early as possible, this breaks down the barrier, and it means they will be prepared and familiar when they enter the ‘practice’ stage.
Always talk to your child when you change them about what they have done in their nappy; they need to know what the words ‘wee’ and ‘poo’ mean.
Another important aspect is to encourage your child to develop their independence skills, like pulling up and down their trousers so they are confident and able to do this when they start toilet training.
When your child starts showing some of these signs, this can be a good indication that they are ready to start practising potty training:
They know when they've got a wet or dirty nappy
They start to know when they're weeing and may tell you they're doing it
The gap between wetting is at least an hour (if it's less, potty training may fail, and at the very least will be extremely hard work for you)
They show they need to wee by fidgeting or going somewhere quiet or hidden
They know when they need to wee and may say so in advance
It is beneficial to have the potty or toilet trainer seat for several months before you start the process of toilet training - this gives your child time to become familiar with it. You can help your child learn to sit down and relax by sitting on the potty/toilet whilst the bath is running for example. Try reading a book or having a chat. Some children’s picture books on the subject can introduce the concept to children and help them gain a basic understanding of the expectations.
Go!
When your child has mastered most of the above, it could be the right time to say goodbye to nappies!
Choose a time to start this stage of the toileting process when you are at home for 2-3 days, as opposed to a weekend away for example. There needs to be minimal disruptions in home and nursery life (for example, a room transition etc).
You could initially set a timer for every 30 minutes to remind you to take your child to the potty/ toilet. At first, this is not a choice, it is a time ‘to go and try to wee’. Then after a few days, if the process is going well, you can change the phrase to ‘do you want to go and try for a wee?’. The timer could then increase to 40 minutes and so on until it is no longer required.
You know your child best; work with their routine and always take them to the potty around the time they usually do a poo. Other good times to try are before meals, before and after nap/ sleep time and if they are becoming fidgety, start to squat or go to a quiet place.
Always stay with your child when they are on the potty or toilet as they need to develop a positive association, build up their confidence and be praised; this will come from you.
Most parents start the transition in the late spring or summer as your child can wear fewer clothes, meaning a top and shorts, or a dress, is ideal for a child to pull up/ down themselves. Similarly, elastic waists, no buttons or tricky zips and no romper suits or dungarees are our top tips to help children tend to their toileting.
Let your child be involved in the transition process; let them choose pants they are excited about. Think characters and colours……whatever works so that they have the desire to wear them. Do not use pull ups or very padded training pants as these have a similar absorbency to nappies which can then confuse children as they won’t become aware if they are wet or soiled.
Provide lots of spare clothing to nursery and always carry around spares with you as there are bound to be a few initial accidents. Choose simple and easy to wash/dry clothing.
If your bathroom is upstairs, initially you could provide a potty downstairs as well, otherwise this could be too far away for your child to make it in time. As they start to grasp the process, then removing the potty and going upstairs to the toilet would be a natural progression.
Take a potty with you wherever you go. In the car, under the pushchair, on short car journeys. Wherever you are going, always try and plan ahead to check/ know where toilets are located. But a travel potty will make life so much easier for a while, even once they’ve mastered being dry – it’s always useful to have in the car.
It can be very confusing for children if they are in the middle of potty training and then they are put in a nappy every time they get in the car ‘just in case’. Another tip- buy waterproof car seat covers so that if your child has an accident in their car seat you are not left in a tricky cleaning situation. Buying a seat cover means your child can stay in pants. During the day there should be minimal, if any, transitions between a nappy and pants. It will simply confuse children. A nappy or pull up can be used at nighttime and for nap times until they are drier for longer periods of time.
Easier said than done but try not to get stressed if your child has an accident; these are sometimes inevitable at the start. You may deal with an average of 6 accidents in the first few days, so stay patient. Keep praising for effort.
It’s important that your child develops a good ‘sitting habit’, you can’t poo unless you can relax when on the potty or toilet and putting a step underneath them, or their feet on the floor can also encourage natural bowel movements. Similarly, get your child to blow bubbles using a bubble wand and tub, or pretending to blow out a candle, e.g. your finger. Encourage your children, both daughters and sons, to lean forward when sitting on the toilet, as this should help to minimise ‘misaiming’ accidents! If your child finds sitting on the toilet tricky then start by sitting them backwards so they can hold on. This can be useful to help them build their trust in the process.
Boys should be able to master weeing and pooing on a toilet or potty before starting to wee standing up. When they get to the point of doing standing up wees, if your son finds aiming tricky, you could use a ping pong ball or a few Cheerios as a target in the toilet, as they float and do not flush away.
Teach your daughter to wipe from front to back, as this will help avoid urinary tract infections.
Routine, routine, routine! To support a successful transition into pants, it is vital to stick to your routine in the early weeks; your child needs your help, and this is one of the most important things you can do.
Night time
Master toileting in the daytime before tackling nights.
When your child’s nappy has been dry overnight for a long period of time, you could transition to not wearing a nappy, however this can take a few months, or even up to the age of around 5. If, and when, your child does not wear nappies overnight, buying a waterproof sheet or mat to put on their bed can help with any accidents.
Well done
Give your child lots of praise and try to keep the toileting process positive. Do not shame or punish your child if they have an accident as this will cause stress and upset and result in your child developing a negative association with toileting. An accident isn’t a failure; it’s a learning curve towards success.
Rewards are fine to use in the short term, for example, a small immediate reward like a chocolate button or sticker for a maximum of two weeks. (It can be difficult for children to maintain a vision on a bigger present or reward, so this is not usually as effective).
Bumps in the road
The aim after a week is to reach only a few accidents in a day. If this doesn’t happen, you may need to consider reasons for this.
Constipation? Not drinking enough water? You may need to put your child back in a nappy and go back to the practice stage whilst making adjustments to diet, water or constipation medication. However, this should only really happen once (if at all). The more a child goes from pants to a nappy, back to pants and so on, the more confusion it creates for the child and will ultimately take longer for your child to master it.
If your child gets constipated, increase their fruit and water intake and go lighter on eggs and bananas.
Speak to your health visitor or doctor if you are concerned as some children need some medication to help to soften their stools to make them easier to pass.
After using the toilet
Teach your child to wash their hands from day one with soap and water. Buy a step if they cannot reach your sink at home. Teach them to wash their palms, backs of hands and eventually between their fingers by interlacing them.
Reassurance
Children often appear to take a backwards step after a few months and may regress to have a few accidents. Don’t worry, this is very normal. This is when children start to feel confident in their own abilities as they think they can hang on a bit longer to finish what they are doing.
Try to view it as just the next step towards them being totally and reliably toilet trained.
You can revisit the timer and prompting stage or take the child to the toilet routinely for a period of time until it is no longer needed.
If you would like further reading and guidance on children’s toileting, you can look at the ERIC or NHS websites:
https://www.nhs.uk/baby/babys-development/potty-training-and-bedwetting/how-to-potty-train/
